Sigh.
I am the type of personality who thinks ahead. I come up with plans, with back up plans and with back up plans for my back up plans. Yeah, I usually go there.
I don't know, the fear of the unknown freaks me out. I don't like entering something unprepared. I don't like guessing and I don't like having little information on my side.
Sometimes I try to be spontaneous, and sometimes I am successful. I guess I can't help who I am. I really need to not let the ideas of pros and cons keep me up at night.
But they're keeping me up at night tonight.
So I'm going to sift through them. Perhaps I can reason with my list in the morning when I have had sleep. You see, I'm terrified of having roommates since my previous ones have hurt me in the past. But there's no way I am able to live on my own comfortably. I'd rather have someone to help me.
Pros
-My future roommate is one of my closest friends.
Con
-I have lost two best friends over the years because of roommate situations.
Pro
We are most compatible as roommates
Con
We have a lot of things to get used to before we live together.
Pro
I'll be getting away from stress that's been holding me down and I am planning to start fresh.
Con
My parents will argue that I am running away from my problems
Pro
I'll be in a place where I'll call my own home. I'll be in control again.
Con
My best friend/future roommate doesn't understand the severity of paying bills on time. Just tonight he was joking to me about how he almost became evictted.
Pro
I will have a fabulous job and a fabulous new life
Con
There will be some money issues and maybe some trust issues. Maybe.
Honestly my list can go on and on. I feel like going to bed right now so I am planning to dish all of this out on someone I'm very close to in the morning. Hopefully they'll be able to put my mind at ease.
Thursday, March 29, 2012
Sunday, March 25, 2012
Life is funny.
Everything seems to be falling into place, which I'm very pleased about. I was able to land a fulltime job just last week and I start training soon. I can't wait to start saving up again. I need to save up to move by the end of the summer. It'll be hard work, but I've done it before.
I also had some troubles with my bank that I cleared up with clear questions and negotiating. The financial life of an adult never seems to fully vanish but the temporary relief is always satisfying.
I was able to watch The Hunger Games this week with some of my very good friends whom I haven't been able to really hang out with in a while. It was nice to see them, and April even gave me an invitation to her upcoming baby shower. The movie itself was phenomenal. I know a lot of people are skeptical about it since it's receiving so much hype and hype usually means it's not that amazing. I personally love the fact that people are so passionate about the movie and about the series now; I read it back before Mockingjay was released so it was a pleasant experience following the making of the film from the trailers all the way to the midnight release. I may just do a real review on the movie in just a while but for now I'll give it an A+ in my book. It was absolutely amazing and probably the best adaptation of a film I have seen since LotR.
It's weird how when friendships end others that you figured were finished seem to come back into the light. I've found myself hanging out with an old friend of mine who was mad at me because of petty drama that went down between our circle of friends and just held a grudge on me because I was associated. It angered me at first but now I see how hurt she was by these 'friends' of ours since I was recently hurt by them too. It was nice to catch up and hang out the other night. I went to a friend's party last night. It was a typical house party. I usually hang out on the sides of parties rather than participating in beer pong or flip cup. I don't know, I have never been much of a party person. I love all the people at these parties though because I've worked with them, and most are my friends or people I haven't seen in a long while. I like being social. It's nice to know who everyone is in a room rather than pretending they don't exist for the time being.
This week has generally been a very good week for me. I'm pleasantly surprised. I suppose that life works in michevous ways; one week could be the worst week in the history of worst weeks ever and the next can be like the one I've just had. I'm very content with the way life is treating me right now and I hope these good feelings and opportunities continue to exist in my futuer.
I also had some troubles with my bank that I cleared up with clear questions and negotiating. The financial life of an adult never seems to fully vanish but the temporary relief is always satisfying.
I was able to watch The Hunger Games this week with some of my very good friends whom I haven't been able to really hang out with in a while. It was nice to see them, and April even gave me an invitation to her upcoming baby shower. The movie itself was phenomenal. I know a lot of people are skeptical about it since it's receiving so much hype and hype usually means it's not that amazing. I personally love the fact that people are so passionate about the movie and about the series now; I read it back before Mockingjay was released so it was a pleasant experience following the making of the film from the trailers all the way to the midnight release. I may just do a real review on the movie in just a while but for now I'll give it an A+ in my book. It was absolutely amazing and probably the best adaptation of a film I have seen since LotR.
It's weird how when friendships end others that you figured were finished seem to come back into the light. I've found myself hanging out with an old friend of mine who was mad at me because of petty drama that went down between our circle of friends and just held a grudge on me because I was associated. It angered me at first but now I see how hurt she was by these 'friends' of ours since I was recently hurt by them too. It was nice to catch up and hang out the other night. I went to a friend's party last night. It was a typical house party. I usually hang out on the sides of parties rather than participating in beer pong or flip cup. I don't know, I have never been much of a party person. I love all the people at these parties though because I've worked with them, and most are my friends or people I haven't seen in a long while. I like being social. It's nice to know who everyone is in a room rather than pretending they don't exist for the time being.
This week has generally been a very good week for me. I'm pleasantly surprised. I suppose that life works in michevous ways; one week could be the worst week in the history of worst weeks ever and the next can be like the one I've just had. I'm very content with the way life is treating me right now and I hope these good feelings and opportunities continue to exist in my futuer.
Wednesday, March 21, 2012
Tex-mex Zucchini cakes
I love cooking. So every now and then I try out new recipies.
I also try to make my own creations. Which is sort of what I did today. Yay.
Today has just been an extrodinary day in general. I'm so happy with the way things are panning out in my life and I hope I continue to move forward and discover new adventures along the way.
Anyway back to the main topic. FOOD.
I love food.
So, I'm on a health kick right now. I want to eat healthier and live a heathier life style. Of course, I can treat myself so I'm not talking about eating JUST greens and drinking JUST water for the rest of my life. But I have limited my soda intake (I usually inhale Pepsi) and I have cut many carbs from my life. I've switched to Whole Grains and drink a lot of water.
I decided to be different today for lunch. Since it's nearly summer, zucchini's are in season. I never was a fan of veggies growing up but I love them now and I adore vegtable meals.
(Don't get me wrong, I'm always going to remain loyal to bacon).
So, now I'm stuck with a zucchini with no idea of how to prep it into something satisfying.
And then...the idea. Tex-mex Zucchini cakes!!! Tex-mex only because instead of parm cheese I use a Taco cheese blend since it was all we had in the fridge.
Tex-mex Zucchini Cakes
Prep time: 10 minutes
Cooking time: 3-4 minutes on each side.
Ingredients:
-1 small or medium zucchini
-bread crumbs. (I made my own out of whole wheat bread)
-1 egg
-a pinch of dried thyme
-a couple pinches of garlic salt
-a couple pinches of pepper
- 1/4 cup Mexcican cheese blend
Shred the zucchni using a cheese grater or box grater. Drain excess water (MAKE SURE THEY ARE DRY I MADE THAT MISTAKE THE FIRST TIME). Set aside in a medium bowl.
Combine all ingredients. Form into quater inch patties, slightly smaller than hamburger patties. Heat olive oil in a frying pan. Place patties gently into the oil. Let cook for 3-4 minutes or until one side is nice and brown and flip. Cook the other side. Use a slotted spoon/spatula to drain the oil and place on serving plate.
Also for an extra tidbit. These cakes taste marvalous with this ricotta dip I prepped in minutes.
Ricotta Dip
-A couple spoonfuls of ricotta cheese
-A 1/2 cup of fat free mayo. (I found the kind with a hint of olive oil is perfect in this)
-garlic salt
-pepper (to taste)
Combine ingredients in a bowl. Serve next to zucchini cakes.
They're delicious, trust me.
I also try to make my own creations. Which is sort of what I did today. Yay.
Today has just been an extrodinary day in general. I'm so happy with the way things are panning out in my life and I hope I continue to move forward and discover new adventures along the way.
Anyway back to the main topic. FOOD.
I love food.
So, I'm on a health kick right now. I want to eat healthier and live a heathier life style. Of course, I can treat myself so I'm not talking about eating JUST greens and drinking JUST water for the rest of my life. But I have limited my soda intake (I usually inhale Pepsi) and I have cut many carbs from my life. I've switched to Whole Grains and drink a lot of water.
I decided to be different today for lunch. Since it's nearly summer, zucchini's are in season. I never was a fan of veggies growing up but I love them now and I adore vegtable meals.
(Don't get me wrong, I'm always going to remain loyal to bacon).
So, now I'm stuck with a zucchini with no idea of how to prep it into something satisfying.
And then...the idea. Tex-mex Zucchini cakes!!! Tex-mex only because instead of parm cheese I use a Taco cheese blend since it was all we had in the fridge.
Tex-mex Zucchini Cakes
Prep time: 10 minutes
Cooking time: 3-4 minutes on each side.
Ingredients:
-1 small or medium zucchini
-bread crumbs. (I made my own out of whole wheat bread)
-1 egg
-a pinch of dried thyme
-a couple pinches of garlic salt
-a couple pinches of pepper
- 1/4 cup Mexcican cheese blend
Shred the zucchni using a cheese grater or box grater. Drain excess water (MAKE SURE THEY ARE DRY I MADE THAT MISTAKE THE FIRST TIME). Set aside in a medium bowl.
Combine all ingredients. Form into quater inch patties, slightly smaller than hamburger patties. Heat olive oil in a frying pan. Place patties gently into the oil. Let cook for 3-4 minutes or until one side is nice and brown and flip. Cook the other side. Use a slotted spoon/spatula to drain the oil and place on serving plate.
Also for an extra tidbit. These cakes taste marvalous with this ricotta dip I prepped in minutes.
Ricotta Dip
-A couple spoonfuls of ricotta cheese
-A 1/2 cup of fat free mayo. (I found the kind with a hint of olive oil is perfect in this)
-garlic salt
-pepper (to taste)
Combine ingredients in a bowl. Serve next to zucchini cakes.
They're delicious, trust me.
Monday, March 19, 2012
Writing helps me forget.
So, in short life keeps getting harder. There's no sugarcoating the fact that I'm now an adult who has bills and things to pay. I can't pretend that everything is going to be okay just by hiding behind a truth.
I can drink, I suppose. But drinking to ease pain and troubles is usually frowned upon in today's society. (screw today's society).
I guess I'm thinking about an episode of Ugly Betty I watched yesterday night with my best friend. In it, Betty's father told Daniel that even though his life seems meaningless and shitty he has to fixate himself on his passion. (of course the statement wasn't as blunt but I'm cutting time here and I have a horrible memory when I am drunk).
But it got me thinking about my passion, which is writing. I have always been a writer. I've loved books since I was little, and when I was old enough to use the computer I started practicing every day. Sure, fanfiction were a great source of encouragement and criticsm but I ended up writing even my own stories at an early age.
Back in 2009 when I started my second year of college, I came up with an idea for a novel. At first it wasn't much of a story. The original plot seems really immature to me now. But I've been working on it for years and it's no where near finished. It's not that I don't want to finish it, it's that I just want to make sure that I get every exact aspect of my imagination correct to the t. That's the perfectionist in me though.
But I really need to start writing it again. I keep trying to but I have life handing me lovely presents I have to deal with on a regular basis that like most writers I can't find any inspriation to write since I'm so busy worrying about everything else.
Hopefully when I move at the end of the summer I can finally focus on the things that were once so important to me. Such as writing, finding a job at a bookstore, and other things. I don't know, I just feel stuck right now. I'm unemployed because of a craptastic decision on my part. (and the blame of managers at the store). I've run out of savings. I'm not in college anymore yet I still hear "When are you going back to school!????" I keep feeling as though my life isn't even controled by me anymore. It's a horrible feeling I wouldn't wish on anyone.
I need control in my life again. I need passion in my life again. I need reassuance, I need to live the life of a young adult not someone who deals with this exact shit when they're fifty. I just wish things could be different. I can't help but wish even though wishing doesn't do anything. I just need a break. Not a vacation, just a break. I need a chance to breathe because I am suffocating amongst this endless vortex called life.
I hope things get better for me this week.
<3
I can drink, I suppose. But drinking to ease pain and troubles is usually frowned upon in today's society. (screw today's society).
I guess I'm thinking about an episode of Ugly Betty I watched yesterday night with my best friend. In it, Betty's father told Daniel that even though his life seems meaningless and shitty he has to fixate himself on his passion. (of course the statement wasn't as blunt but I'm cutting time here and I have a horrible memory when I am drunk).
But it got me thinking about my passion, which is writing. I have always been a writer. I've loved books since I was little, and when I was old enough to use the computer I started practicing every day. Sure, fanfiction were a great source of encouragement and criticsm but I ended up writing even my own stories at an early age.
Back in 2009 when I started my second year of college, I came up with an idea for a novel. At first it wasn't much of a story. The original plot seems really immature to me now. But I've been working on it for years and it's no where near finished. It's not that I don't want to finish it, it's that I just want to make sure that I get every exact aspect of my imagination correct to the t. That's the perfectionist in me though.
But I really need to start writing it again. I keep trying to but I have life handing me lovely presents I have to deal with on a regular basis that like most writers I can't find any inspriation to write since I'm so busy worrying about everything else.
Hopefully when I move at the end of the summer I can finally focus on the things that were once so important to me. Such as writing, finding a job at a bookstore, and other things. I don't know, I just feel stuck right now. I'm unemployed because of a craptastic decision on my part. (and the blame of managers at the store). I've run out of savings. I'm not in college anymore yet I still hear "When are you going back to school!????" I keep feeling as though my life isn't even controled by me anymore. It's a horrible feeling I wouldn't wish on anyone.
I need control in my life again. I need passion in my life again. I need reassuance, I need to live the life of a young adult not someone who deals with this exact shit when they're fifty. I just wish things could be different. I can't help but wish even though wishing doesn't do anything. I just need a break. Not a vacation, just a break. I need a chance to breathe because I am suffocating amongst this endless vortex called life.
I hope things get better for me this week.
<3
Saturday, March 10, 2012
Book Thingy. Wooo.
Found this. Doing this. The end.
1. Favorite childhood book?
Boxcar Children Series
2. What are you reading right now?
Needful Things- Stephen King
3. What books do you have on request at the library?
I don't go to my local library. It's poorly equiped. So I camp out at B&N. Anyway The Fault In Our Stars- John Green
4. Bad book habit?
Predicting endings.
5. What do you currently have checked out at the library?
Nada
6. Do you have an e-reader?
I want oneeeee.
7. Do you prefer to read one book at a time, or several at once?
Several, it's a habit I have to break.
8. Have your reading habits changed since starting a blog?
Nope
9. Least favorite book you read this year (so far?)
This year? The Pledge- Kimberly Derting. Love this author but the book lacked in everything.
10. Favorite book you’ve read this year?
When I finish it, The Fault in Our Stars- John Green
11. How often do you read out of your comfort zone?
Depends. Sometimes I like to switch from YA or Stephen King to some classic literature. I honestly don't have a specific type of book I stick to.
12. What is your reading comfort zone?
Suspence, supernatural (no Vampire love stories though), murder mysteries from time to time and uhhhhhhh some YA once in a while like John Green.
13. Can you read on the bus?
I can read anywhere.
14. Favorite place to read?
Outside. Beds are for sleeping.
15. What is your policy on book lending?
I have to be careful. I usually don't lend books anymore. The last book I lent was my copy of Mockingjay, but that's because I only bought it when it first came out. I had read the others from the library. So if the person I lent it to looses it, I'm okay with that because I can just buy the entire set again. But if I don't trust you then you don't get my books. One girl I knew took my favorite, beautiful copy of The Garagoyle WHICH WAS SIGNED and I never saw it again.
16. Do you ever dog-ear books?
Not gonna lie, with old books yes. With hard cover books I use the flap to mark my page and with new paperback I have bookmarks.
17. Do you ever write in the margins of your books?
Only if I'm analyzing a plot.
18. Not even with text books?
What.
19. What is your favorite language to read in?
English. Duh.
20. What makes you love a book?
When I can't put it down the moment I start it. A fantastic suspence story that has me shivering. The list can go on and on.
21. What will inspire you to recommend a book?
Depends on my friends. A lot of them don't care about reading so I don't bother.
22. Favorite genre?
Suspence/Supernatural
23. Genre you rarely read (but wish you did?)
Science Fiction. I love watching it I just can't get myself to read it though.
24. Favorite biography?
None that are stupid.
25. Have you ever read a self-help book?
By force.
26. Favorite cookbook?
Cooking is a passion so I browse through them at the book store often. But I love Giada De Laurentes
27. Most inspirational book you’ve read this year (fiction or non-fiction)?
It will most definitely be The Fault in Our Stars. WHEN I FINISH IT. Sob.
28. Favorite reading snack?
Don't eat while I read. If I do, cookies.
.29. Name a case in which hype ruined your reading experience.
Breaking Dawn. But the hype warned me, not ruined it.
30. How often do you agree with critics about a book?
As often as I agree with MTV showering the Twilight franchise with fake glory.
31. How do you feel about giving bad/negative reviews?
I'm all over giving honest reviews. It keeps my mind at ease.
32. If you could read in a foreign language, which language would you choose?
French.
33. Most intimidating book you’ve ever read?
MY TEXAS GOVERNMENT TEXT BOOK. Waste. of. my. life.
34. Most intimidating book you’re too nervous to begin?
Nothing.
35. Favorite Poet?
Sylvia Plath. I'm not huge on poetry.
36. How many books do you usually have checked out of the library at any given time?
When I was in college I usually had two out at a time.
37. How often have you returned book to the library unread?
A few.
38. Favorite fictional character?
Luna Lovegood.
The Doctor from the Doctor Who series. Particularly David Tenant and Matt Smith.
39. Favorite fictional villain?
Any vilian in John Saul's books.
40. Books you’re most likely to bring on vacation?
Paper Towns- John Green or Harry Potter, any from the series.
41. The longest you’ve gone without reading.
Depends on how crazy life gets. Usually not long.
42. Name a book that you could/would not finish.
Breaking Dawn-Stephenie Meyer
43. What distracts you easily when you’re reading?
People. That's why I read in silence.
44. Favorite film adaptation of a novel?
The Lord of the Rings Trillogy.
45. Most disappointing film adaptation?
Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban. WHAT THE HELL ALPHONSO.
46. The most money I’ve ever spent in the bookstore at one time?
Last time I went on a legit book spree it was over sixty dollars.
47. How often do you skim a book before reading it?
I don't skim.
48. What would cause you to stop reading a book half-way through?
Poor everything. But I usually finish. Because I would go crazy if I didn't.
49. Do you like to keep your books organized?
By genre
50. Do you prefer to keep books or give them away once you’ve read them?
Keep. I have two bookshelves.
51. Are there any books you’ve been avoiding?
I never avoid. I only procrastinate.
52. Name a book that made you angry.
Breaking Dawn. The movie made it decent. The book was horrible.
53. A book you didn’t expect to like but did?
The Last Song.
54. A book that you expected to like but didn’t?
The Pledge. It was such a great plot but the execution was awful.
55. Favorite guilt-free, pleasure reading?
Harry Potter. Hands down.
1. Favorite childhood book?
Boxcar Children Series
2. What are you reading right now?
Needful Things- Stephen King
3. What books do you have on request at the library?
I don't go to my local library. It's poorly equiped. So I camp out at B&N. Anyway The Fault In Our Stars- John Green
4. Bad book habit?
Predicting endings.
5. What do you currently have checked out at the library?
Nada
6. Do you have an e-reader?
I want oneeeee.
7. Do you prefer to read one book at a time, or several at once?
Several, it's a habit I have to break.
8. Have your reading habits changed since starting a blog?
Nope
9. Least favorite book you read this year (so far?)
This year? The Pledge- Kimberly Derting. Love this author but the book lacked in everything.
10. Favorite book you’ve read this year?
When I finish it, The Fault in Our Stars- John Green
11. How often do you read out of your comfort zone?
Depends. Sometimes I like to switch from YA or Stephen King to some classic literature. I honestly don't have a specific type of book I stick to.
12. What is your reading comfort zone?
Suspence, supernatural (no Vampire love stories though), murder mysteries from time to time and uhhhhhhh some YA once in a while like John Green.
13. Can you read on the bus?
I can read anywhere.
14. Favorite place to read?
Outside. Beds are for sleeping.
15. What is your policy on book lending?
I have to be careful. I usually don't lend books anymore. The last book I lent was my copy of Mockingjay, but that's because I only bought it when it first came out. I had read the others from the library. So if the person I lent it to looses it, I'm okay with that because I can just buy the entire set again. But if I don't trust you then you don't get my books. One girl I knew took my favorite, beautiful copy of The Garagoyle WHICH WAS SIGNED and I never saw it again.
16. Do you ever dog-ear books?
Not gonna lie, with old books yes. With hard cover books I use the flap to mark my page and with new paperback I have bookmarks.
17. Do you ever write in the margins of your books?
Only if I'm analyzing a plot.
18. Not even with text books?
What.
19. What is your favorite language to read in?
English. Duh.
20. What makes you love a book?
When I can't put it down the moment I start it. A fantastic suspence story that has me shivering. The list can go on and on.
21. What will inspire you to recommend a book?
Depends on my friends. A lot of them don't care about reading so I don't bother.
22. Favorite genre?
Suspence/Supernatural
23. Genre you rarely read (but wish you did?)
Science Fiction. I love watching it I just can't get myself to read it though.
24. Favorite biography?
None that are stupid.
25. Have you ever read a self-help book?
By force.
26. Favorite cookbook?
Cooking is a passion so I browse through them at the book store often. But I love Giada De Laurentes
27. Most inspirational book you’ve read this year (fiction or non-fiction)?
It will most definitely be The Fault in Our Stars. WHEN I FINISH IT. Sob.
28. Favorite reading snack?
Don't eat while I read. If I do, cookies.
.29. Name a case in which hype ruined your reading experience.
Breaking Dawn. But the hype warned me, not ruined it.
30. How often do you agree with critics about a book?
As often as I agree with MTV showering the Twilight franchise with fake glory.
31. How do you feel about giving bad/negative reviews?
I'm all over giving honest reviews. It keeps my mind at ease.
32. If you could read in a foreign language, which language would you choose?
French.
33. Most intimidating book you’ve ever read?
MY TEXAS GOVERNMENT TEXT BOOK. Waste. of. my. life.
34. Most intimidating book you’re too nervous to begin?
Nothing.
35. Favorite Poet?
Sylvia Plath. I'm not huge on poetry.
36. How many books do you usually have checked out of the library at any given time?
When I was in college I usually had two out at a time.
37. How often have you returned book to the library unread?
A few.
38. Favorite fictional character?
Luna Lovegood.
The Doctor from the Doctor Who series. Particularly David Tenant and Matt Smith.
39. Favorite fictional villain?
Any vilian in John Saul's books.
40. Books you’re most likely to bring on vacation?
Paper Towns- John Green or Harry Potter, any from the series.
41. The longest you’ve gone without reading.
Depends on how crazy life gets. Usually not long.
42. Name a book that you could/would not finish.
Breaking Dawn-Stephenie Meyer
43. What distracts you easily when you’re reading?
People. That's why I read in silence.
44. Favorite film adaptation of a novel?
The Lord of the Rings Trillogy.
45. Most disappointing film adaptation?
Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban. WHAT THE HELL ALPHONSO.
46. The most money I’ve ever spent in the bookstore at one time?
Last time I went on a legit book spree it was over sixty dollars.
47. How often do you skim a book before reading it?
I don't skim.
48. What would cause you to stop reading a book half-way through?
Poor everything. But I usually finish. Because I would go crazy if I didn't.
49. Do you like to keep your books organized?
By genre
50. Do you prefer to keep books or give them away once you’ve read them?
Keep. I have two bookshelves.
51. Are there any books you’ve been avoiding?
I never avoid. I only procrastinate.
52. Name a book that made you angry.
Breaking Dawn. The movie made it decent. The book was horrible.
53. A book you didn’t expect to like but did?
The Last Song.
54. A book that you expected to like but didn’t?
The Pledge. It was such a great plot but the execution was awful.
55. Favorite guilt-free, pleasure reading?
Harry Potter. Hands down.
Friday, March 9, 2012
I lied.
I guess I won't be keeping up with this blog daily after all. I just have a horrible attention span. Yeah, that's it.
Speaking of which might I start by stating how utterly sucks it is to be uneployed? It's one of the most horrible things in the world. I mean, really. I'm sitting in my room ON A FRIDAY NIGHT. It's cold as if hell froze over but if I try to dig the heater from my closet I start an avalanch and well...I don't really want to spend saturday cleaning. But I'm here crocheting, blogging, reading fanfiction (who said anything about MLP fanfiction, huh?) and watching youtube for episodes of MLP that I haven't seen. Also I guess I keep pretending that I'm not into the show.
That's another lie. I'm totally hooked. Just not obsessed to the point of "OMG DERPY HOOVES" yet.
Above all I keep wishing my netflix was available.
I miss my netflix account. Sigh.
I'm really super hungry. But the food is downstairs. Curse me for being so damn lazy.
(screw being lazy. pizza rules).
But anyway, yeah back to the unemployment thing. I really need a job. I'm planning on moving in a few months. June is going to be hell on me. Especially since both my parents birthdays are that month, Father's day is that month, and Mother's day is the month before. I'm cringing just thinking about it....
But I may just end up making Mom's gift special. Y'know a basket full of chocolate covered strawberries and such.
But Daniel and I are planning on moving to Dallas early August or late July. At least until we both have enough saved and a job.
Idk, I'm just worried. I mean I have to keep track of my bills, as well as birthday gifts as well as saving money. Oh boy.
Remember the short attention span thing? Well, it's related so...
My father is one of the biggest problems in my life right now. Basically he's made me the family fuck up even though he manipulates the entire situation. Like, right now if he read this he'd be like "You are blaming everyone but yourself yadayadayada HOWDAREYOU".
I need to get the hell away from this house.
It's even worse, that he's now lying to Mom about situations. For instance, we were on the phone about personal buisness while he was at work. When he answered I was irritated yes, but because of what I was calling about not at him. It was when he said "Well, if you weren't so..." was when I was just like "...". Then he continues to rant about a tangent subject and just bitch and bitch and bitch as if it were my fault that this happened. So when I told him he needed to get off of his high horse, he started at me. First he was like "Are you fucking kidding me. I can't hear you over the rain because I thought I heard..."
I called my mom stressed out after I hung up on him. She seemed to be on my side.
Just now when I came back upstairs from talking to her (Yayyyy pizza) I discovered that she had talked to my dad like she promised but he MANIPULATED THE WHOLE SITUATION.
He kept it as though I was irritated and hung up. He LIED when she asked him about the cursing part and the bullying part. Oh. My. Fucking. God.
I can't deal with this anylonger. I need to get the hell out. I plan on it. I'm determined.
I'm a bit freaked out. But still. I really am dreaming of all things Dallas. To be honest, the initial idea of another roommate scared me. But I'll be on the lease this time. This time it'll be the right time.
I guess now I'm just going to continue pretending I don't like MLP and finish off my Friday night. I have no idea what's to come the rest of this weekend. Hopefully a phone call saying I have an interview as a host.
Ugggh, I hate being unemployed.
Listening to: Skrillex
Speaking of which might I start by stating how utterly sucks it is to be uneployed? It's one of the most horrible things in the world. I mean, really. I'm sitting in my room ON A FRIDAY NIGHT. It's cold as if hell froze over but if I try to dig the heater from my closet I start an avalanch and well...I don't really want to spend saturday cleaning. But I'm here crocheting, blogging, reading fanfiction (who said anything about MLP fanfiction, huh?) and watching youtube for episodes of MLP that I haven't seen. Also I guess I keep pretending that I'm not into the show.
That's another lie. I'm totally hooked. Just not obsessed to the point of "OMG DERPY HOOVES" yet.
Above all I keep wishing my netflix was available.
I miss my netflix account. Sigh.
I'm really super hungry. But the food is downstairs. Curse me for being so damn lazy.
(screw being lazy. pizza rules).
But anyway, yeah back to the unemployment thing. I really need a job. I'm planning on moving in a few months. June is going to be hell on me. Especially since both my parents birthdays are that month, Father's day is that month, and Mother's day is the month before. I'm cringing just thinking about it....
But I may just end up making Mom's gift special. Y'know a basket full of chocolate covered strawberries and such.
But Daniel and I are planning on moving to Dallas early August or late July. At least until we both have enough saved and a job.
Idk, I'm just worried. I mean I have to keep track of my bills, as well as birthday gifts as well as saving money. Oh boy.
Remember the short attention span thing? Well, it's related so...
My father is one of the biggest problems in my life right now. Basically he's made me the family fuck up even though he manipulates the entire situation. Like, right now if he read this he'd be like "You are blaming everyone but yourself yadayadayada HOWDAREYOU".
I need to get the hell away from this house.
It's even worse, that he's now lying to Mom about situations. For instance, we were on the phone about personal buisness while he was at work. When he answered I was irritated yes, but because of what I was calling about not at him. It was when he said "Well, if you weren't so..." was when I was just like "...". Then he continues to rant about a tangent subject and just bitch and bitch and bitch as if it were my fault that this happened. So when I told him he needed to get off of his high horse, he started at me. First he was like "Are you fucking kidding me. I can't hear you over the rain because I thought I heard..."
I called my mom stressed out after I hung up on him. She seemed to be on my side.
Just now when I came back upstairs from talking to her (Yayyyy pizza) I discovered that she had talked to my dad like she promised but he MANIPULATED THE WHOLE SITUATION.
He kept it as though I was irritated and hung up. He LIED when she asked him about the cursing part and the bullying part. Oh. My. Fucking. God.
I can't deal with this anylonger. I need to get the hell out. I plan on it. I'm determined.
I'm a bit freaked out. But still. I really am dreaming of all things Dallas. To be honest, the initial idea of another roommate scared me. But I'll be on the lease this time. This time it'll be the right time.
I guess now I'm just going to continue pretending I don't like MLP and finish off my Friday night. I have no idea what's to come the rest of this weekend. Hopefully a phone call saying I have an interview as a host.
Ugggh, I hate being unemployed.
Listening to: Skrillex
Saturday, March 3, 2012
Two Years Ago.
So yeah. I guess I'm 22 now. I started this blog two years ago. Wow.
So much has actually changed and yet a whole lot still remains the same. I'm just going to use this blog as a personal journal. If I get readers, then sweet. If not, I'm perfectly comfortable pretending that I'm talking to myself (which I'm really not but whatever that's not the point.)
I should really entitle this blog "The Diary of an Almost Crazy Person." That's honestly what it's going to entail. I'm not crazy (in the sense of the word where everyone runs the opposite direction at least) but I am not sane either. I live in a world where my fantasy novels and fiction are my only escapes. They help, and so does alchohol on some occasions. My favorite being wine. Mmmm, wine.
I'm going to start by saying, even though no one gives a rats ass, that the Tyler who was mentioned in a previous post is no longer a friend of mine. I also do not consider anything with him a friendship since he didn't think so. No worries, I've still got many friends. Sort of.
My best friends seem to be dropping like flies. For the longest time I felt responsible. I kept thinking was I a horrible person? Did I make that bad of an impression? Did my breath really smell that pungent?
Whatever the reason I keep feeling alone. Not really alone, I still have best freinds and those I enjoy texting all the time. It just hurts when a part of your life decides to change in the way where you would never have expected it to.
But aside from that I do have several great friends, and a few very best friends still. One of them has done what I've been trying to do for the longest time and has gotten away from her family situation. I'm still trying to do that. It all boils down to if I can convince a general manager to hire me tomorrow as a host at this not very glamourous restaraunt. Either way money is money and I need money.
I need it to leave. I've left twice and both times have been horrific. It's because I haven't left right. I was the stupid idiot who moved in with a married couple and decided to move in with another "best friend" who turned out to be crazy psycho depressed. Not average depressed which is what I admittedly am dealing with. No, this bitch tried to sue me over money I had already paid her just because I wouldn't help her and give her any extra. Then she tried to make me feel like the horrible person. My other best friend also was the same way. I always considered her like a sister but her new dick of a boyfriend changed her. Now I do not see us being that close again unless she dumps him or he dumps her. I wouldn't wish her unhappiness, but they're not right for each other and never have been.
I'm getting ahead of myself. I still write. I'm working on the same novel I've been working on since college started. Mainly because I keep rewriting it and changing things around. I have the whole story plotted and planned and the revisions are taking longer than I hoped they would. One day I swear you all will see this book on shelves.
I honestly don't understand the My Little Pony obsession. I have so many friends who are ADDICTED to this cartoon. I mean, it's cute and I adore Fluttershy cause she's adorable but otherwise it seems silly to be so hooked onto a cartoon where people start bringing in real debates and such over.
These are just several of the things on my mind at the moment. I feel myself falling asllep so I'm going to write again toomorrow
So much has actually changed and yet a whole lot still remains the same. I'm just going to use this blog as a personal journal. If I get readers, then sweet. If not, I'm perfectly comfortable pretending that I'm talking to myself (which I'm really not but whatever that's not the point.)
I should really entitle this blog "The Diary of an Almost Crazy Person." That's honestly what it's going to entail. I'm not crazy (in the sense of the word where everyone runs the opposite direction at least) but I am not sane either. I live in a world where my fantasy novels and fiction are my only escapes. They help, and so does alchohol on some occasions. My favorite being wine. Mmmm, wine.
I'm going to start by saying, even though no one gives a rats ass, that the Tyler who was mentioned in a previous post is no longer a friend of mine. I also do not consider anything with him a friendship since he didn't think so. No worries, I've still got many friends. Sort of.
My best friends seem to be dropping like flies. For the longest time I felt responsible. I kept thinking was I a horrible person? Did I make that bad of an impression? Did my breath really smell that pungent?
Whatever the reason I keep feeling alone. Not really alone, I still have best freinds and those I enjoy texting all the time. It just hurts when a part of your life decides to change in the way where you would never have expected it to.
But aside from that I do have several great friends, and a few very best friends still. One of them has done what I've been trying to do for the longest time and has gotten away from her family situation. I'm still trying to do that. It all boils down to if I can convince a general manager to hire me tomorrow as a host at this not very glamourous restaraunt. Either way money is money and I need money.
I need it to leave. I've left twice and both times have been horrific. It's because I haven't left right. I was the stupid idiot who moved in with a married couple and decided to move in with another "best friend" who turned out to be crazy psycho depressed. Not average depressed which is what I admittedly am dealing with. No, this bitch tried to sue me over money I had already paid her just because I wouldn't help her and give her any extra. Then she tried to make me feel like the horrible person. My other best friend also was the same way. I always considered her like a sister but her new dick of a boyfriend changed her. Now I do not see us being that close again unless she dumps him or he dumps her. I wouldn't wish her unhappiness, but they're not right for each other and never have been.
I'm getting ahead of myself. I still write. I'm working on the same novel I've been working on since college started. Mainly because I keep rewriting it and changing things around. I have the whole story plotted and planned and the revisions are taking longer than I hoped they would. One day I swear you all will see this book on shelves.
I honestly don't understand the My Little Pony obsession. I have so many friends who are ADDICTED to this cartoon. I mean, it's cute and I adore Fluttershy cause she's adorable but otherwise it seems silly to be so hooked onto a cartoon where people start bringing in real debates and such over.
These are just several of the things on my mind at the moment. I feel myself falling asllep so I'm going to write again toomorrow
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